Six Strategies for Parents to Lower the Stress of Family Calendaring

No matter the size of your family, coordinating everyone’s schedules and managing logistics can be a stressful proposition for any parents. In this video, we offer strategies and suggestions to help reduce stress while increasing opportunities for collaboration, so that parents can stay aligned with each other and keep their family on track.

 

 

Video Transcript:

I need you to drive them. I always take them! It’s not fair that you always get out of this.

Does any of this sound familiar?

How parents talk with each other about the family schedule can be the difference between cooperation and combat.

Hi, I’m Erik Feig, Founder of Feig Mediation Group in Bethesda, Maryland. Let’s talk about ways to make the family schedule discussions more constructive and less stressful, so that you, as parents, can stay in- step with each other.

No matter how many children you have, scheduling can be complicated in any family. The logistics of getting the kids to and from school and their extracurricular activities, while also taking into account each parent’s schedule and commitments – yes you matter too – is no small task.

For neurodiverse families, where there may also be additional academic, therapeutic, behavioral, and other supports needed, it can feel like an always- shifting, never- ending task. And when the adults are feeling stressed- out or overwhelmed, talking about Who will be Where, and When, can very quickly get heated and personal – especially if one parent feels like they’re carrying more than their fair share of the load. And how you approach – or don’t approach – that stress can impact everyone in the family. So, what can be done to help keep these important conversations on track?

Here are six strategies, and if you’re interested in taking a deeper dive on these I’ll be spending more time on them in future videos, so stay tuned.

• First strategy: Make time to talk when you both can focus. Schedule it if it’s helpful. What this looks like will be different for every family, but multitasking these conversations or trying to do them piecemeal can be a recipe for frustration.

 

• Second strategy: Get the big picture. Do you have a view of the family schedule for each family member and for the entire family? If not, it can be helpful to create one so that you have a sense of the entirety of the landscape you’re dealing with.

 

• Third strategy: Once you have a big picture view, step back and create your list of to -do’s together. Consider what’s needed to make each thing happen – Who needs to be Where, When? Do this together.

 

• Fourth: Pay attention to how you’re coming across to each other. For instance, are you telling your partner what they have to do, or asking them how can We make this work? Are you focusing on what’s in front of you, or are you rehashing where you’ve been?

 

• Fifth strategy: If you want to offer a suggestion or consider a solution, make a concrete proposal. Talk with each other about what it would look like and how it would work for everyone involved – and on the flip side, when you hear an idea – a proposal – pause and consider it. Don’t just react. Look for your yes. Even if you don’t agree to the entirety maybe there are pieces you could build upon to make things work better.

 

• And finally, Sixth: Spend some time together considering what is working. Are there things you want to keep doing? Make part of your process think about how you can make these conversations into regular, planned events, and look at ways you can make things go more smoothly.

 

Changing your conversations in these ways can help you both know what to expect, and feel confident that you could stay on track together.

Thanks for joining me.

If you like this video, subscribe to our YouTube channel. I’m looking forward to seeing you here, and if you’re considering mediation or are interested in learning more about our practice, feel free to visit us at our website at www.FeigMediationGroup.com.

I’m Erik Feig, I’ll see you next time.